It has Winnie the Pooh pulling himself out of a barrel, Eeyore and Tigger hiding behind Pooh’s barrel on the front looking toward the back of the book. On the back Piglet has his arms up covering his face, facing a tree. ….I don’t really “get” the picture but I know the feeling Piglet had… I opened the notebook up and on the first page I wrote, “Where there is love, I’ll be there” - Mariah Carey
(Hair Am as I now call her since I like forwards things backward. Makes more cents, I mean sent’s or sense! Know what I mean jelly beans!!!?)
So then my Pizza got here from Appollo and a really nice man with no teeth was scrubbing down my steps and I realized it was him playing…not MMR, but a sister station I love as well…I asked him “why not MMR?” and he said he goes “back and forth, between MMR & this sister station…” so I said, “thank you so much, sorry i have a concussion ….but I do all the same EXACT same things and your making me really happy and my names Amanda!” …with this gigantic bruise on my head that at first looked like Russia, then looked like Africa, and now looks like an enormous heart, no lie- swear on my life.
And then I realized that my friends and clients who are always there for me and who are honest and giving and real and include me and exclude the person who put me in this dizzy state… Really are real.
And that the other people I thought were real friends, who I thought cared, are junkies who use me and each other and everyone!! And get in the way of everything thats good for their own evil and selfish intentions and they don’t even know it.
That’s why even after decades of friendship or just a few days or months…manipulate and hurt me and people I love via me and people who love me that I don’t even know about, and one another and their families and their “friends” families, families families, families, families, families, families (baby mommas mommas baby momma momma…sorry andre 3000 or nappi roots or whomever sang that line was so nice i met him at a sprite liquid remix tour in the 2000’s…i had braces and hated hoobastank and was getting a guitar shaped adult beverage at the bar…couldn’t have been a day over 17… I wasn’t cute and He was, as he put it - “just getting his cookie on.” He was literally was eating a cookie and talking to lil old me …there were people every where… Ask Sean Haindl he was so pissed and jel, he loves hoobastank.) So any way’s I HATE PERCOCET. TO PAIN KILLER JUNKIES & ABUSERS—JUST BeCAUSE YOU CAN BLOCK PAIN TEMPORARILY DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD BECAUSE YOU ARE THE HURTERS OF THE HURT.
Anyway, I hate the word hate more. And I feel sorry for people who take drugs they aren’t prescribed to at their own children’s baptisms, who just rip through homemade with lots of love cards and envelopes looking for money. Greed greed greedy people who do anything ANYTHING (even have a child) just to manipulate and hurt EVERYONE for their facade. You tear apart people who love one another, who do things to try to better themselves and one another. I hope you’re proud you enablers of true evil.
Forgive them for they know not what they do…that’s what resonated within me as i wrote that. And I heard it, in my head in Lauryn Hill’s voice but she, being a human and not God just got out of jail for tax evasion so I’m going to assume its in my Precious Moments Bible somewhere and make up a Godlier voice as I look for the exact quote with my two black eyes.
Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. Forgive me for whatever the hell I did to deserve this. Forgiveness. My favorite word of all.
No wait one more thing—-“Who do you love?”
Because despite anything and everything I LOVE YOU! Anyone who reads this concussed jibber jabber every back stabbing person I call friend or associate or neglect to even acknowledge. Yup. It’s a true story. At the end of the day the beginning of the day any and every moment of happiness, hurt, rage, disappointment, joy or nothingness…I will always love you.
I’ll tell you once more, before I get out the door, don’t bring me down.
I shoulda bought this hat
#illadelph and #veronicareed love
I need to do this. I swear I’m happy I’m just…tired
i’m sensitive as shit
i cry when i’m happy
and i cry when i’m sad
i wear my heart on my sleeve
if i am upset, i don’t beat around the bush; i will let you know how i feel
i used to apologize for how emotional i am
it would seem like my feelings were an…
I don’t understand why friend weddings aren’t a thing
Like I want to have you in my life forever
And I want to have a party where we celebrate that with cake and exchange friendship bracelets and vows and then go on a vacation together
Paging so many people in my life.